Why is everyone so easily triggered right now?

I have been in so many conversations with leaders locally and around the world about the way people are being triggered with the stronger narrative leaders are using now about breaking fears, re-engaging life, and genuinely just needing to be 'leaders' to much of our humanity right now.

But there are, in most conversations, more than just one way dialogues going on. Usually there is what is being said, what we are hearing, what we understand about what we are hearing, and then how we respond to what we are hearing.

Then there is the world of the leader who is leading and communicating. They also come with their own patterns and ways of relating to the world. And that pattern has often been influenced by generational patterns in their own family. These particular patterns are often not recognised unless the work is done to notice.

So as we begin to say to those around us 'get free' and pursue 'fearless freedom', I would be encouraging all of us as leaders to continue to DO THE WORK. Leaders are sometimes the worst at asking for help, or finding a therapist, or taking the time to do the deep work. And it costs them their soul. And their longevity. And often so much more.

And friends, can I be honest? Some of the most spiritually powerful leaders are the most emotionally unaware of them all. Because their spirituality becomes a cover up for their inability to hold space for their soul. And if you have grown up in an environment where there is no room for the connection between the well being of our emotional health and our spiritual life, then you live in constant dualism. Good/bad, right/wrong, flesh/spirit. Always seperating the two.

Some of the only ways we make the connection is when we practice spiritual disciplines that are 'upstream' to our natural inclinations. Because we all LOVE the downstream practices that we are good at.

I am so curious to know, what are you noticing about the way you lead? What is healthy and what are unhealthy patterns that you are working on?

Me .. here are a few:

I am a 'Enneagram Type Nine with a social instinctual subtype' so I love sensing that I belong. And I can often place that focus of needing to belong in the outer world of social media .. as if that is real, when I should be focussing on my immediate sphere of belonging right where I am, present in my family.

I am not clear enough in my communication, and I can disconnect even in the middle of a sentence if I think it will disrupt my peace to say what I want to say.

I do not give anywhere near enough attention to my own well being.

Follow through on things that require my full focussed attention get placed low in my to do list.

In genogram work we are doing I notice patterns of parenting where there was not honestly to children about what the marriage was really like, and I am committing to changing that as we work on areas in our marriage that our kids already recognise are work areas.

I do not easily apologise. And this is a practice I am learning daily to own.

I have too much attachments to my ideas I bring to a group and I am learning to offer them in a way where someone can say no thank you and it would not impact me personally.

So here are just a few. And the more I am honest about these in my marriage, family, team & friendships, the more I am finding freedom in them


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