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Why do we find goal setting so difficult?

Tonight I looked at my 2017 journal. Reflecting back on this time two years ago. I always declare a word over my year. I then draw circles connected to that word. Goals, hopes, dreams, faith statements encircle that word. I was telling the girls in my Reset Group this week that it’s two years since I wrote on paper that I wanted to podcast. Now I have the great honour of co-hosting a weekly podcast. Yet I wouldn’t call that a fulfillment of a goal.

’Goal’ sounds too stagnant. Like it’s done once and that’s it. This just feels like the very beginnings of an unfolding passion.

When I asked for a show of hands who responds well to the word ‘goal’, I had about 30% say YES! The rest were equally no, or I don’t know. I am in the ‘no I don’t respond well’ group. That could be my 9 on the Enneagram. Goals just don’t drive me. I am not competitive enough.

I love the word belief or dream. But that takes the pressure off me to accomplish it.

So I think about the word ‘win’ ... like it’s a team effort! Heaven setting up the ball/opportunity. Me taking hold of it! A co-labouring.






So when I asked the girls in our Reset Program this week what goals have the accomplished, they found it difficult to answer. So I reframed the question...

I asked the girls what has been a win for them.

What moment have you excitedly called a friend to share good news? What moment did you ‘high-five’ their husband and say ‘we did it!’? When did you head hit the pillow at night and with relief you sigh ‘its done’? What emotions were involved? Why did it feel significant? What part did you have to play in it? Where did you contribute to that victory?

Wins are never in isolation. There are usually many factors involved. Lots of goals. Usually small moments. Lots of set ups for victory. Lots of accessing strengths and learning from losses. Acknowledging what matters. They are usually more value driven than goal driven.

A great book to read on acknowledging moments and leveraging them for your success is by Chip and Dan Heath called The Power of Moments. They dive really deep into the psychology of how we recall moments and why we recall particular moments and what we can do to make the moments build momentum for our future. I am reading it right now and it’s brilliant!

So what has been a ‘win’ for you so far this year? And why do you define that as a win? And what could you do to leverage that win and build momentum into the last four months of this year?

Let me know in the comments. I would love to celebrate with you and champion your final third of 2019 ❤️

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