When asking 'what are your dreams?' gets misunderstood

Day-to-day I lead on a local church team here in Montreal that our family founded 4 years ago this month. It has grown to over 1000 people who would call our church their 'spiritual home'. We have just 4 staff, over 150 volunteers and around 40 of them carry significant leadership roles in our church. These people give multiplied hours and hours to build with us and serve God in this way.

We are regularly misunderstood in our particular leadership culture. Less by people outside of christian circles and unfortunately more from within certain theological persuasions. One of the ways we are misunderstood is when we ask people who are joining our team 'what are your dreams and how can volunteering in this role help you to fulfil these dreams in your heart?'

That seems to scream all the wrong things to some people. How can you trust that what people want is what people need? What if they do not have the maturity to discern what is right for them to dream about?

Well we believe that from the very beginning of time we were entrusted with the ability to co-create with God. That He gave us dreaming opportunities and said go name, multiply, influence and carry forward my heart that I have placed within your heart.

Oh that is right .. He also said then I will do even more than you could ever even dream in your wildest dreams! (Ephesians 3:20)

Within the context of relationships we are invited to champion dreams in one another.

Needs v. Wants v. Dreams -. Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

You may already be familiar with Maslow’s human needs.

He says that you cannot move through the heirarchy of growth if your basic needs are not met & you will always want to stay in self preservation mode & set goals to your lowest level of need that is not being met.

1. Physiological (air, water, food)

2. Safety (shelter, clothes, routine, familiarity)

3. Belonging and love (affection; connection to family, friends, and colleagues)

4. Esteem (self-respect and respect from others)

5. Self actualizing one’s innate potential & growth

Rosenberg goes on to add to this list:

Acceptance

Freedom

Participation

Creation

Identity

Protection

Recreation

Understanding

Subsistence

So we do not just talk 'dreams', we also go deeper and move into conversations where people have permission to articulate deeper need behind dreams, desires, goals, wins etc, This is where we get to the more authentic motivation and much more powerful drive to achieve those dreams as we hear what needs that would be meeting in them.

These are real conversations & you would pick some of this up in a podcast I hosted with one of the team members at our church that we have seen raised and released. We discuss in here what it means to be empowered, encouraged, championed, understood and developed.

Listen to it here:

I would love to know what stood out to you in this conversation and what dreams it stirred in your heart. For this particular leadership culture in our House - I am so willing to be misunderstood because I will stand by it always. It produces so much incredible fruit in people. Try it

With much love and grace