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What do you do with the sick feeling in your gut that tells you, ‘this is not who you are’?

Do you ignore it?

Do you eat your way through it?

Do you do the thing anyway and regret your ‘yes’?

Do you know who you are, and the space that you hold, with enough clarity to be able to check in with the question ‘what core value am I dishonouring by making this choice? Why I am sensing this is not necessarily wrong, but just not me?

I have just spent time in a conference with hundreds, if not thousands of leaders the past few days here in Canada, and I don’t know if there was a conversation that didn’t dive into the topics of identity, calling, next steps, how to find peace and purpose, the specific places people live and how they can be activated in those places and so many more enriching conversations. Meaningful. Moving.

The main question I was asked was ‘why Montreal?’ (that’s for another day) and how did you develop your personal values declaration that you read out in your talk? You can find that declaration here at

(Scroll all the way to the bottom of that home page to read them)

I will never forget landing in Montreal, knowing no one, turning forty and thinking ‘who am I?’ And how do I want to live my life?

These five declarations shape my days and my beliefs about who I am. They shape how I do my days.

They remind me, not who I have become, but who am I becoming?

I certainly do not live these out perfectly, but I do use them as guard rails for decisions, an invitation to grow and a framework for my responses. Would Vanessa who is .... do this....? So when that feeling comes in my gut, my first response is to ask ‘am I dishonouring the way God has invited me to live?’

If we rely on living up to everyone else’s ‘ways’ then we will never knows if this is God’s way for me. And we will ignore what our body is nudging us towards - true value- honouring living. Holding the space for who you know you are called to be.

Because so many of my new subscribers have asked me about this process, I have developed a free giveaway to begin the Values Clarity process for you.

Go online, back to my home page, type in our email and then it will show up in your inbox.

And once you have found your words, then begin to put them in sentences. If you get stuck then email me or DM me on instagram with a picture of your words and I can go back and forth with you to help where you’re stuck.

This process was such a crucial investment into me! It’s worth your time for YOU!

Let me know how the exercise goes for you.

I love you and believe for such clarity to come your way. ❤️

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