Updated: May 28
I am not sure where to start about my last few weeks. But let me begin by saying I have been really stuck in decision-making fatigue about the solution being encouraged to this pandemic.
For lots of different reasons that are really personal to me. But there is nowhere public that I would give voice to this because it is SUCH a personal decision (even though some would say it's not as personal as we think because they posture themselves with the 'collective good' revelation. And genuinely every individual has their own framework that is valuable for how they see this solution).
Here in Canada there is so much going on around this. And left to my own defaults I would just float around not really making a decision.
There is a brilliant quote that I heard last week and it made me recognise I was not really putting my whole-self into this decision.
"Excessive adaptation to the world would be too painful to endure without self-forgetfulness"
And just two weeks ago my whole family was thrown into a deeply painful situation where some of our longest standing friends were figuring out whether they stay connected to us based on decisions we were or weren’t willing to make around solutions the government is suggesting to eliminate the virus. So there was a strong enough disruption to my defaults to have to wake up about this.
And I even understand that conversation, although painful, was not easy. And I see it now as a gift from God to wake up.
I have finally come to a decision on this and I wanted to share the framework for which I made the decision in case it is helpful to you. I won't share the details but I will share the principals.
1. Is it clearly a yes/no decision you can see in the scriptures?
In this situation, and to be honest in a lot of situations, the answer is no.
So hearing the voice of God on this becomes an invitation to deeper work.
What I know for sure if the 'heart of God' on this and the promises of God that stand regardless of the decision I make here.
I also really believe that this process is a journey and an invitation to growth, so God in HIs grace will use everything to continue forming us.
2. What default in my own personality is at play right now?
I have learnt over the past few years that I have a particular way of escaping when faced with a stressful situation. It's a pattern. It is what I default to. Sometimes you have to ask this first because it is often the shadow side that we can recognise quicker than the strengths you are carrying.
This self-awareness often needs to come before you even give room for the spiritual work you want to do with God. Because if you do not do this work, then the spiritual potency may not go to layers deep enough within your soul.
3. Why are people that I honour choosing a certain way?
Here I am actually not looking for 'what' they are doing in the same situation that I need to make a decision on. I am looking for their 'why' and how they came to this decision.
This does not control my decision but it gives me an opportunity to connect with people and hear their own decision making process. It is informing me.
4. How will this decision impact those that I love?
Decisions you make have a ripple effect. So you always need to look at the very next layer beyond you. We always say 'It is about you, but not just about you, but it is about you' around your life, your calling and your choices.
In our particular situation, those that I loved were themselves very divided on this decision. And I had to see this diversity and unique responses as an opportunity for bonding and connection rather than being so divisive.
And I needed to draw back and filter their observation of the impact back into my own framework. I had to discern the impact after listening to their responses.
5. What other factors in this area can I control?
Decision-making fatigue comes when you often feel that this decision is beyond yours to control. However usually that is not the truth. There are many more factors you can control than you may think in the frozen-ness of the fatigue.
Begin to notice what micro-decisions you can make before you even make this bigger decision. This is a really powerful place and a great launching.
6. Notice your decision-making patterns in the past
Have your stopped and thought about the way you have always made decisions? In my coaching I often ask clients to note down the ways they have made good decisions previously and the times they made decisions that they were later aware were not the best ones. Often you feel it with an incongruence with your values and your vision for your life. But they all become lessons.
7. Make the decision and then trust.
For some that is trusting in God, trusting in yourself and trusting in the process.
I have actually never put on paper this process before and I pray that it is going to be helpful to you. Let me know if you have any other ways that you make decisions that could be helpful for everyone.
Beyond us learning from you, maybe it is important to note your own process so that you grow more and more confident in the process for you and your future.
So much love for you xx