To those waiting for their 'plus one' .....

Updated: Feb 15, 2020


We are right in the middle of a relationship series at Resurgent, here in Montreal. We do not want it to be the regular topics that can feel so exclusive of those who do not fit the 'boxes or the norms'. But what is the 'norm' anyway and who sets the 'norm'?


Growing up in my late teen, early young adult years, it was so normal in the church environment I was apart of to get married young. So trust me when I say that marrying someone at 23 was considered on the 'older-side' in my context.


Yet fast forward to now, to urban life, to the days that we are living in and that 23 yeard old number is not the norm at all. But again.. what are the standards that define 'norm'.


Singless is very normal in our context here in Montreal. Normal and not looked upon in anywy 'less-than'. So when we were talking to our team about what we would be preaching on at night to our young adults, my husband made this comment. "I am teaching on singlesness and dating, because just to preach on singleness would be too depressing"


I looked at the faces of our team when that statement came out of his mouth (even though I knew the context and what he was trying to say) and I saw a number of them give that gorgoues millenial-roll-of-the-eyes, shrug-of-the-shoulder, body language turn away from him esssentially where their posture says, 'I am here, but I am not with you right now'. They glance at one another in that knowing 'did he really just say that'. You know how we often do our disagreement posture right?? (Not just millenials, but they do it SO well here in Canada).


But, I get it. Well, I knew the hours we had both put into the message preparation for that particular message and I knew he completely communicated nothing of our heart for the topic. What he really meant to say was, 'singleness is for a season, with some that will be gifted and graced for it longer term, and you are no less a person when you are single, but our heart and culture is to always preach into both the season you are in and the promise of things to come, then I do not want to seperate singless and dating, because how you view and do singless will determine when, how, why and who you date!!!'


But that is a very NINE way of saying what an EIGHT on the Enneagram says and gets so misunderstood here in our NINE Canadian culture (Enneagram talk for the types of people that nations produce quite often and just super generalised and weaponising I know). But if you do Enneagram, you get my point. He just said a statement incorrectly for what was in his heart for people.


Because the season of singleness can often be experi