Updated: Feb 15
We are right in the middle of a relationship series at Resurgent, here in Montreal. We do not want it to be the regular topics that can feel so exclusive of those who do not fit the 'boxes or the norms'. But what is the 'norm' anyway and who sets the 'norm'?
Growing up in my late teen, early young adult years, it was so normal in the church environment I was apart of to get married young. So trust me when I say that marrying someone at 23 was considered on the 'older-side' in my context.
Yet fast forward to now, to urban life, to the days that we are living in and that 23 yeard old number is not the norm at all. But again.. what are the standards that define 'norm'.
Singless is very normal in our context here in Montreal. Normal and not looked upon in anywy 'less-than'. So when we were talking to our team about what we would be preaching on at night to our young adults, my husband made this comment. "I am teaching on singlesness and dating, because just to preach on singleness would be too depressing"
I looked at the faces of our team when that statement came out of his mouth (even though I knew the context and what he was trying to say) and I saw a number of them give that gorgoues millenial-roll-of-the-eyes, shrug-of-the-shoulder, body language turn away from him esssentially where their posture says, 'I am here, but I am not with you right now'. They glance at one another in that knowing 'did he really just say that'. You know how we often do our disagreement posture right?? (Not just millenials, but they do it SO well here in Canada).
But, I get it. Well, I knew the hours we had both put into the message preparation for that particular message and I knew he completely communicated nothing of our heart for the topic. What he really meant to say was, 'singleness is for a season, with some that will be gifted and graced for it longer term, and you are no less a person when you are single, but our heart and culture is to always preach into both the season you are in and the promise of things to come, then I do not want to seperate singless and dating, because how you view and do singless will determine when, how, why and who you date!!!'
But that is a very NINE way of saying what an EIGHT on the Enneagram says and gets so misunderstood here in our NINE Canadian culture (Enneagram talk for the types of people that nations produce quite often and just super generalised and weaponising I know). But if you do Enneagram, you get my point. He just said a statement incorrectly for what was in his heart for people.
Because the season of singleness can often be experienced as depressing for some (and often many) people that we shepherd, but is not that way for all, or all the time.
So to the singles on Valentines Day, let me speak into you (and in the double post day today, later I will speak to marrieds). But truly, single, dating, single-again or married, this revelation is for all of us....
This is what God in heaven says to you ...
Song of Songs 4:9
You've captured my heart, dear friend. You looked at me, and I fell in love. One look my way and I was hopelessly in love! How beautiful your love, dear, dear friend— far more pleasing than a fine, rare wine, your fragrance more exotic than select spices. Dear lover and friend, you're a secret garden, a private and pure fountain. Body and soul, you are paradise,
It was scripture like this that beckoned me towards embracing my femininity…
Changed my life forever as I realized I was wanted, loved, delighted in, treasured… that who I was becoming as woman was a gift! God had created me perfectly as a woman and my SOUL was learning it full well.
He is inviting you ….
The Passion Translation of the same verses say:
For you reach into my heart. With one flash of your eyes I am undone by your love, my beloved, my equal, my bride. You leave me breathless— I am overcome by merely a glance from your worshiping eyes, for you have stolen my heart. I am held hostage by your love and by the graces of righteousness shining upon you
One look towards Jesus, the lover of your soul.....
One longing glance that invites Him to satisfy longings, whispers, needs and desires FIRST...
One invitation that requests that He would be your 'plus one' today....
He is RIGHT THERE!
Physically He is no longer present on your earth, but HIs PRESENCE can do in one moment what no human being can ever do. Overshadow you in all the right ways. He longs to be this for you.
Not only that. He is obsessed with you.
Every year my husband has made a practice of delivering a Valentines Day gift to the girls school. But this year my older two said please do not. I thought my third teenager would say the same. Brand new highschool, 5000 students. New friends.
But guess what, she totally EXPECTS and has told everyone already that is what her dad will do.
My third daughter is wating today for that delivery.
Have you been waiting also today?
Read the scriptures again as if He had written you the Valentines note to you today. This is heaven's love letter to you.
Would you take the time to breathe it in. He is preparing this gift for you the same way Eden's dad is preparing her gift to be delivered.
Happy LOVE day, beloved!