The public display of (the desire) for affection



I have teenagers in our house now, three of them, plus a ten year old who thinks she is a teenager. So when we kiss in a lingering way (which twenty years on in our marriage we have to remember to pause and not rush out of the house without this discipline), they find it so embarrassing.


However, I am hoping to show them that there is something so sacred about preserving intimacy for a life partner, and that love can endure and stay intimate.


Even as I write this though, there will be girls reading who are desperately desiring that kind of intimacy. In fact there will be daughters giving themselves away in the hope of experiencing that kind of intimacy.


The first few scriptures in Song of Songs reference a conversation where the Shulammite Bride, in the presence of her friends (Jerusalem’s Daughters) says ‘may he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth’

She displays her DESIRE for intimacy. She does not hide it.


I think one of the problems in our society is that we pretend that we don’t really desire intimacy because if we share our longings we will come across desperate. Or if we want more in our relationships with God or others, it can be misunderstood that what we have is not enough.


Maybe one of the first things we have to do on this journey is acknowledge our desire for intimacy. Say it out loud to someone you trust.


To your girlfriends: “I do not want you to perceive me as desperate, but I need to be honest, I really desire a relationship;


To your parents: “I crave to be understood by you”;


To your mentor: “I am lonely, is there some aspect of my behaviour that you see could be adjusted that may help me make friends?”;


To the friend that you have been hurt by, but the friendship is worth pursuing: “It hurt when …”


To God: “God I am angry at you and I need to say it so we can experience true intimacy because as long as I pretend the feelings are not there we stay distant”;


To the spouse of 20 years: “We are doing so good but is there more to discover?”


Where do you need to communicate your desire for more intimacy? I invite you to step courageously into that place of honesty.


Live Loved today x

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