My Bald Head, Unyieldedness and Love

I am one of the most stubborn, unyielding people that you will ever meet. It will come as a surprise to many (and not so to others!)

When I was young I would, on purpose, do whatever I could to defy the norms. I rebelled against any stereotype or box that I felt forming around me.

So when I shaved my head to prove to people that you did not need hair to be feminine, I shocked everyone around me. I had college professors try and show me in the scriptures where I was rebelling against God; I had pastors try and tell me that perception would limit me; and boys in my world try and explain to me that there must have been some deeply seeded dysfunction that was in my heart that would cause me to do this….. and I dug my feet in deeper and went back to that barber again and again.

For two years.

Then I began to read this book of the Bible.

Like an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved [shepherd] among the sons [cried the girl]! Under his shadow I delighted to sit, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love [for love waved as a protecting and comforting banner over my head when I was near him].

Song of Songs 2:3

It was an invitation to view beauty with a new perspective.

Love as a ‘protecting banner’ no longer felt diminishing or repressive, or restricting, or boundary-defining. It felt more like a welcoming to where I could find belonging.
The banner felt like a safe place for my dangerous dreams.
Like His 'yes' and 'no' had my best interest and kingdom come at stake.