On the eve of Mother’s Day here in Canada, I am all about ANY excuse to honour women!!
It is one of the best way to honour the gift of womanhood and our maternal DNA within each and every feminine heart. But Mother’s Day can also be an ominous reminder of what we do not have.
I am so aware that my beautiful friends in this email community have not all experienced pregnancy loss. So when I email you with this in mind, I am also thinking about someone that you may know, or for a day when this resource may be helpful to someone you know.
So please feel free to save this email for another day.
Mother's Dat can be a time when the loss of pregnancy, or loss of dreams around mothering, or the loss of a relationship with a mother can all be deeply triggering as the world celebrates.
Loss like this is not always easy to acknowledge or give expression to.
For years we could not get pregnant when we desired to do so. Each month was a hopeful expectation that diminished over time. Mother’s Day would come around and I would hold my breath. I had to intentionally learn how to practice honour of those who had what I wanted. And the practice really helped me.
Then after miracle babies, as we were expecting our fourth, we were told Anastasia Zoe had died in my womb at nearly 22 weeks.
We launched The Known Movement, to support women, men and families through pregnancy loss. And one of the steps we teach is to find rhythms and rituals to acknowledge loss like this. Mother’s Day is one. Father’s Day is another.
One of the most powerful ways to continue to acknowledge the importance of this journey is to TALK about it. Explore your loss with “tender attentiveness”. Engage in the journey of loss. Name the moment, name your baby, name who you are now that you do not carry this baby in your arms.
Tell people how you would like to be treated on Mother’s Day. What would you like to be called if you have not given birth to a baby, or have experienced longing and loss in the area of parenting?
The important work is to not wait for someone to do it correctly or incorrectly. You are fully invited to set the narrative. People who love you will actually LOVE a clear pathway into your heart when you vulnerably share what would be helpful and healing for you.
Today if this is your experience, it is my prayer that this loss would find your fully alive. Alive to the pain. Alive to the promise. Alive to the present. Because when you can feel deeply, you can heal deeply.
We are with you. And if there is anything I can do to serve you through this season, please reach out.
The Known Program is live on my website and the first two modules are up and so helpful for someone who needs to journey through this loss. It is my heart and hope that the tools in this program allow this loss to become ground on which your grief turns to growth.
With much love always