Does the thought of someone really knowing you scare you? I often think that if people knew what was really going on in my heart and mind, would it be too much for them. This well of mine runs pretty deep and although I look like I share alot, I would still say I often hold back much more than I actually communicate. It takes me a long time to figure out if I think this beatiful mind of mine will scare you :)
Vulnerability is not easy for humans.
It exposes you.
So does leadership because when you lead you lead of who you are.
It is high risk to expose yourself and risk misunderstanding.
Usually it is in the small things, not the big things, that can cause the deepest relational pain. It is those things that get left unresolved:
The email that you pressed send on when you should not have written when you were angry.
The long delay in returning a phone call.
The leadership transition done imperfectly.
The correction that was misunderstood.
The unpaid debt.
The new friend replacing the affection they used to have for you.
The tone of voice.
The body language.
The unmet expectation.
The envy and pride that creep into our hearts.
The unforgivness that seeps into our bones.
This woman in Song of Songs knew the vulnerability of intimacy. Face-to-face connection is risky.
Song of Songs 2:15
My heart was touched and I fervently sang to him my desire.
Take for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards [of our love], for our vineyards are in blossom.
Then she said distinctly ‘My beloved is mine and I am his!’
The Passion Translation
"You must catch the troubling foxes, those sly little foxes that hinder our relationship.[t] For they raid our budding vineyard of love to ruin what I’ve planted within you. Will you catch them and remove them for me? We will do it together"
What does fighting for intimacy with God and with significant others look like for you?
Do you know what the little foxes are?
What are your vulnerabilities?
What does your ‘my beloved is mine and I am his’ mean to you?
If you can only have this security in a relationship with Jesus and every other relationship will remain perfectly imperfect, will that help take the pressure off?
It does not have to justify staying away from vulnerability, but we can do it from a position of security rather than lack. This abundance and overflow rather than scarcity and limited relational space.
Because when you then decide to identify the little foxes, 'catch them and remove them' as she says .. this often can be painful too. Because truth is painful. But when removed, there is just such fresh air.
Can we be sceure enough women, that areas where we need to grow relationally, that significat others may need to highlight within us, do not cause more offense? But we actually thank someone for their honestly to point out those little foxes spoiling our connection.
It is just as risky to point that out in another, knowing they could take offense, as it is to receive it.
Let's fight for intimacy.