I have two parts of my calling that always cause me internal conflict .. that Jesus has called me to preach in places that are not my local home church (because I LOVE home and her people) and sometimes the cost feels great as I weigh up leaving, not being present in my home church and also let's be honest .. just navigating the planning and family dynamics of going.
But I really do feel called. Like a God-calling-my-name type of calling in this season. So we work out the logistics of it locally and in my home. My husband is amazing at releasing me and my local team are just the best at what they do. Today was one of those days where I desperately missed being local for our own special day of baby dedications, but I really felt the release when my friend asked me to preach in their incredible church whilst they took a sabbatical. Both were so important to me. So you have to ask yourself questions when this happens and then make sure the answer aligns to what is right for you and right to do.
The second part that often causes me some internal conflict, is when God is calling me to serve in something outside of my local context that stretches me and then ends up being something that gives me less margins to be local and present. I would never let these opportunities take me away from what I am actually paid to do so that I honour what is my employed role, but then it means serving on top of that with many more hours of volunteer time. So then I land with the many, many incredibly faithful people who do that always in churches like ours. Right now I am feeling the weight and stretch of that 'extra' as I lead a national project to mobilise women into an internship with a phenomenal movement called Gather Women across Canada . So as a woman you do have to navigate if this is part of the 'land' God is giving me, or is it just a good idea with no grace on it.
I did ask myself, my husband and a few friends those questions lately and i think it is super healthy and helpful to do. The answer was YES to this ... because i believe again that it is right for me and right to do.
Then I ask myself does it align with my passion for women to find their place in the House of God.