When I lost a baby 11 years ago, I carried all my grief in my gut. Not just physically in that place because that is where my baby’s heart stopped beating, but because I have always had a particular connection in my body to my gut.
In my coaching and pastoral work I am seeing so much connection between trauma that gets trapped in our body and what is going on in our soul. Most woman I talk with have some challenge accepting their body with a deep love for the temple that it is.
One practise I have been exploring, and are coaching other girls to do, is to stand in front of a mirror and speak words from Song of Songs over parts of their body that they despise.
Another practice is to stand and close your eyes, and breath in ‘BE’ and breathe out ‘LOVED’. This was recommended by a Canadian speaker Danielle Strictland a few months ago to us, and it is changing where I carry my stress and my despising of certain parts of my body.
I breathe in ‘BE’ and let the breath travel deep, deep into parts of my body that are carrying that knowing despise of mine.
This temple can feel what you do not even say.
The breathe opens up a new pathway for love and gratitude to flow.
Now let me read a love letter from heaven over you as a woman…..This is how He feels about you and your body.
Song of songs 4
1-5 You're so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful,
HE LOVES YOUR HAIR
and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine.
HE LOVES YOUR SMILE
Your smile is generous and full— expressive and strong and clean.
HE LOVES YOUR LIPS
Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting, your veiled cheeks soft and radiant.
The kisses of your lips are honey, my love, every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor.
HE LOVES THE WAY THE WAY YOU CARRY YOURSELF
The smooth, lithe lines of your neck command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration! Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.
HE LOVES YOUR CURVES SO DON’T DESPISE THEM
The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh
You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
HE LOVES HOW YOU ACCENT YOUR BODY
You remind me of Pharaoh’s well-groomed and satiny mares. Pendant earrings line the elegance of your cheeks; strands of jewels illumine the curve of your throat. I’m making jewelry for you, gold and silver jewelry that will mark and accent your beauty.
HE LOVES YOUR SKIN
Your limbs are lithe and elegant, the work of a master artist. Your body is a chalice, wine-filled. Your skin is silken and tawny like a field of wheat touched by the breeze.
HE INVITES YOU AWAY FROM YOUR WILDERNESS
Come with me from Lebanon, my bride. Leave Lebanon behind, and come. Leave your high mountain hideaway. Abandon your wilderness seclusion,
HE INVITES YOU TO SHOW UP
Move out of the shadows into the light
You've captured my heart, dear friend. You looked at me, and I fell in love. One look my way and I was hopelessly in love! How beautiful your love, dear, dear friend— far more pleasing than a fine, rare wine, your fragrance more exotic than select spices. Dear lover and friend, you're a secret garden, a private and pure fountain. Body and soul, you are paradise,
It was scripture like this that beckoned me towards embracing my femininity… It really invited me to not despise what was happening inside of me and outside within my body itself.
I am believing that NOTHING about your discomfort in your own skin would hinder you from showing up. I am believing that discomfort will become delight.