A Framework For Forgiveness and How This Will Help You Grieve (and PS leaders need this the most!)

Most people know that the majority of the work I do is with leaders. I work with the leaders of our local church, a national women's movement and in my coaching. I am most passionate about caring for the soul of leaders as they care for the souls of others.

When I blogged on Forgiveness and Grief a few weeks ago, the majority of the responses were from three different groups of people

Leaders dealing with grief and loss

Couples dealing with pregnancy loss

Loved people in our Black Community processing the ongoing racial injustices personally and collectively.

So I will speak into these three spaces over the next few blogs around grief, loss, trauma and forgiveness.

Before I do that I would love to share some generalised steps to forgiveness (of yourself, of others or of God)

The first step is to fully acknowledge and own the fact that you’ve lost something—that you didn’t get something you wanted, and it hurts. In a therapeutic context, that could be painful work. Sometimes its take therapeutic work before somebody’s ready to forgive because they’ve suppressed a bad experience or been in denial about it, and it may take effort to get them to acknowledge the harm or its consequences. Getting to a place of honestly recognising loss can take time and a safe place.

The second step of the grief process is to experience the feelings normally associated with the loss. Because of you have denied the loss, then you may also have not experienced the emotions with that loss. I’ve never met anyone who suffered real loss and didn’t experience a range of emotions—you’re sad, you’re scared, you're confuse