We chased warmth and sunshine this Christmas vacation. We drove three days all the way down to Florida. We have never done that before at that time of year. We stayed in an apartment with a full kitchen and it had some good space for our family of six. But that also meant you don‘t entirely 'switch off' as a mum with lots to still do to feed your family etc each day.
I knew that everything I was doing on my vacation was making me more and more frustrated that I was barely getting any down time, but being a nine on the Enneagram, I was not saying it. I had actually not said a word to any of them about it. I thought I was hiding it well.
But then one night talking about the trip, my teenager said to me, it is like you have been, as we say in French "Être dans la lune". I asked her what that means. She said it means 'to be in the moon'. In English we would say 'to have your head in the clouds'.
I asked them why they think that. They began telling me all the times on our vacation that I would switch off, that they would 'lose me to the clouds'. They shared with me what I look like, sound like and what I do. You can imagine, again with teens, this turned into some pretty hilarious mimicking of their mother when her head is in the clouds!!
Être dans la lune
I could not believe what they had noticed.
I do it quite regularly. Now I have an expression for it.
The woman in Song of Songs says to her lover
"Yes! For your love is better than wine"
Wine has a few purposes
1. To celebrate the successes
2. To cloud out the challenges
References to wine in the scriptures represents both. It is he drink of gladness, earthly celebration and physical health; it can soften us, make us vulnerable, be more truthful; and too much can also disconnect us from reality.
She is saying that His love is better than all the things in life that make you numb or clouded.
Better than all the finer things in life. Better than both!
In His presence, experiencing His love she can be PRESENT! She does not need to celebrate anything else or cloud out anything else.
She knows the power of being present in the NOW moment.
This world is full and fast and we can let both the challenges of life and the successes of life distract us from what really matters! We can do it subtly and we can do it obviously.
I am becoming aware of when I 'check out' relationally or go to the clouds. I am learning to assess 'what am I really feeling?' and 'what am escaping from?'
When I assessed my vacation 'head in the clouds', I was angry, frustrated, disappointed.. at myself more than anyone for not asking for help. Like they all should have known what to do and what I needed. I was not clarified like I said the day before in ths blog. It caused disconnection.
I want the love of the Lover of My Soul, Jesus Christ to be enough to welcome me back down from the clouds. I want to be first 'present' with Him. Because this is where I can then experience in human form the love that keeps me connected and alive. Present with others.
What ‘wines’ are in your life? Is there anything that you use in your life to ‘disengage’ a little from the reality of life as you know it? Is there anything in your life that is inhibiting true connection?